I see it’s 11 a.m. and I’m at work reflecting back on what I’ve
done today. You know, reviewing my to do list, checking off my accomplishments…yeah,
that’s what I’m doing. Here’s what I’ve done so far today:
Emptied half the
dishwasher
The bottom half. I was running late out of the shower and
only had time to do the plates and silverware.
Checked my horoscope,
reviewed “The Daily Chanel,” and got an ear worm
Every day I commute with the same people, and we collaborate
on the New York Times crossword puzzle. The people who create the New York
Times crossword puzzle are sadistic bastards--every day there’s at least one clue
that references a song, which inevitably gets stuck in my head. Today’s offering
is “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 (you’re welcome).
The horoscopes give the day a
number that indicates how challenging it will be. I presume this is to give me
a head’s up in case the odds are high that I might need a bail bondsman or a
lawyer. Or both. We mostly just read the numbers, because like all horoscopes,
the actual predictions are pretty vague and interchangeable. Today is a 9 for
me, which means “easy,” which makes me wonder why I’m wasting a 9 at the office.
It appears Chanel has bought the
upper left corner of page A2 of the New York Times for 344 consecutive weeks or
something. Every day it is, of course, an item that is both practical and
economical. A shearling clutch. A platinum and ruby wristwatch. Calfskin and patent
leather sneaker boots (seriously—the bottom part is a sneaker, but they come to
mid-calf and have laces all the way up). Often the price is printed, and
naturally nothing is ever under a thousand dollars. Sometimes the price isn’t printed,
which translates to, “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.” We check the
Daily Chanel regularly. I’m always looking for good gift ideas, after all.
Dealt with a dozen volunteer-related issues
I’m in charge of coordinating the
after school programs at my kids’ school, and they start this week, so I’ve
been dealing with little Tommy wants this but it’s full so can he have something
else. Plus we had a bunch of late registrations I had to record.
Had an email debate with a friend about the virtues of Cool Whip versus
Redi Whip
Seriously? Cool Whip is chemical
sludge and leaves a slick in my mouth. It’s Redi Whip all the way for me.
Read a couple of blog posts, posted on Facebook, commented on Facebook
posts and a couple of blog posts
Including the link to one of
them here, because Leslie Marinelli of In the Powder Room is SO right on about
the internet mommy trolls.
And let’s include this
one, because the Oxford comma is correct, useful, and necessary. Lola
Lolita of Sammiches & Psych meds will educate you, should you currently be
in the Wrong Thinkers camp.
Read the “Quotes” from the movie “Pretty in Pink” on IMDB
Actually not my favorite John
Hughes movie (that would have to be either “Sixteen Candles” or “The Breakfast
Club”) because while I love Andrew McCarthy, I, along with the rest of Generation X, felt like Andi should have ended up with Duckie. I read the
reason John Hughes even made “Some Kind of Wonderful” is because he wanted Andi
to end up with Duckie too, but the studio forced him to change the ending so
she ended up with Blane. "Some Kind of Wonderful" ended the way he wanted "Pretty in Pink" to end. There, don’t say you never learned anything from me.
Went to the drug store, ostensibly for itch cream, but really for Halloween candy
I still have the remnants of this rash, but I was also out of miniature candy bars so I had to go get some. I hate Halloween. I have zero self-control and I love candy. Basically Halloween sucks for me. So I came back with itch cream, miniature Take Five bars, and miniature Heath bars. AND DON’T YOU JUDGE ME. (Also, may I ask just what is wrong with our society that miniature Heath bars are only available at Halloween? That’s effed up, y’all).
I also bought a small bag of Sour
Cream & Onion potato chips. Because nutrition.
Cursed GEICO for sending new insurance cards every other week
Why do they DO this? It’s not
like our coverage changes. It’s not like our policy number changes. And yet,
every other month or so, there’s another envelope from Geico with new cards for
us to distribute amongst ourselves. Naturally I never actually have one of
those little buggers when I need it, which I did today. So I cursed at them.
Not in any way they’ll ever know about—just under my breath while sitting at my
desk, but it was cathartic for me. And it’s all about me, after all.
Found out my favorite soup is on the soup menu at my usual lunch spot.
And that was pretty much the
highlight of my goddamned day so far.
What you’ll notice is
conspicuously absent from this list is any form of actual work. Yeah. Don’t
tell my boss, OK? I’m off to get my soup now.
11 comments:
It must be a GEICO kind of day. I just dropped the thieving bastards for pulling money out of my account without telling me. They're claiming it was an "unpaid balance" from 3 years ago. One thing if they would have called me and asked about it, another thing completely that they just decided I had a 3 year old balance and pulled the money without my authorization. I wouldn't have even known about it had I not checked my account balance and found myself $200 short all of a sudden. Had to do the whole "cancel my credit card, file a dispute" bullshit with my bank over it and GEICO is still claiming they had every right to do it. Ended up in a 3-way call with my bank and GEICO. When I asked the GEICO lady what would happen if I had her credit card number and just "decided" that she owed me money and just took it. Would I have the right to do that, or would they throw my ass in jail? She had no answer for that. The bank gave me my money back . . . and I got insurance with USAA.
Sorry for the rant. Literally JUST got off the phone with them.
I don't have too many issues with them as a rule, but they must have killed half of the Redwood National Forrest in the last three years sending us unnecessary new paper insurance cards.
It's gotta be The Breakfast Club, doesn't it?
I really think so. I love Sixteen Candles, but I have never thought Jake Ryan was as hot as everyone else does, whereas I still lust after Judd Nelson as Bender.
What's a Heath bar? I'm partial to Kit Kats and Reese's Peanut Butter cups. Daddy gets ALL.THE.KITKATSANDREESES!!! My kids are strange in that they don't put up much of a fight about giving up their candy.
So you have an itch? I probably could have clicked that link to see what that's all about, but just FYI, in my head, you're scratching your crotch while you eat your soup. That's just funnier to me than whatever the truth probably is. Your morning seems pretty full. Good for you for getting so many non work things done.
SO productive. I am in awe. In 1999 I was in Australia and they had mini strawberry milky way bars. I ate 47,987 bags of them and cry every day that I've never found them in North America.
DRE - What's a HEATH BAR? Chocolate covered orgasm, that's what. It's a toffee bar--so awesome. My kids don't like Reese's so I take the 4,327,212 of them they get every year, make them into a paste, and apply it to my ass, because that's where all those calories go anyway.
Interestingly, that's about the only place that DOESN'T itch. I got a rash from some conditioner I whoreily bought (I'm a total hair product whore--I have zero loyalty and will pick up any new product that catches my eye). It's gotten better, but I still itch almost everywhere.
Brooke - I'd suggest you get a friend to ship you some, but I sent some candy corn to an expat friend a couple of Halloweens ago because his half-Aussie kids had never had it, and to ship $7 worth of candy corn (which, granted, is roughly 800 pounds--ok, maybe 1 1/2) to the Sunshine Coast cost FORTY BUCKS. So, unless you've hit Powerball (or the Canadian equivalent thereof) I can only offer you a tissue and tell you how sorry I am.
I'm in awe of your productiveness. All I've done today is nap and watch tv, because I'm on a break from housework and also I'm lazy.
Sounds like you've gotten a lot done. Today I've done even less--I've been on FB and Twitter all morning. Oh and I pulled one report for a work thing. That took 4 minutes.
Work is overrated. Naps, however, are not. Zzzzzzz
Agree 100% with both statements!
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